Rounding 32 weeks and counting!

Sorry I have been such a lazy blogger! At 10 weeks after our last entry, it's beyond time for an update, I know!

As far as we know, all continues to be well with Ethan David. He is growing strong -and big!-and we are enjoying how active he has been each day. As active as I thought Christian was, this little one definitely is even more consistently active throughout the day. It's fun to see how he responds to us: when we press on the tummy, he presses us back and he always wakes up when he hears daddy's voice! I feel so eager in my heart to meet him. I am enjoying being back to work - having to think about things other than nesting has been healthy for me (and a welcome respite for my husband) but the hours are long and I'm feeling the third trimester weariness. Even so, I thank God for the health and ability to continue doing what I love until Ethan is here. If nothing else, it makes the weeks FLY by!

Over the past four weeks, we have been beyond blessed by the outpouring of love and anticipation for Ethan at his baby showers. The nursery is complete and ready for its newest guest! The pets are definitely starting to realize that something is happening now. They've been in and out of the nursery, sniffing everything, lounging on the new rug and checking it all out. As we have taken the steps in faith to prepare for Ethan's arrival, I am filled with a mix of eagerness and anxiousness. Could we come so far only to have him not come home? It's a thought that only lingers a short time before I pray it away and continue to try and trust for the best outcome.

Pregnancy is a time of waiting and anticipation by nature. In this case, I feel like I've been stuck in a holding pattern of waiting, watching and wondering (without the expected reward at the end) for over a year. This really takes a toll on me some days! As the reality of Ethan continues to sink in, I find myself daring to believe in the possibility that everything really will be ok and this year's holiday season will be the most joyful one of our lives. Everyone has their ideas about whether or not he will come early, late or right on time. Whenever he's ready is fine with me, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing it to be sooner rather than later!

We do have a prayer request, friends. As the smell of autumn is starting to settle in with the chilly nights, it takes me and Matt right back to when we found out about Christian's problems. From late September through December, we had to walk a long road of uncertainty and grief. What once was my favorite season has been tainted by the memory of being heartbroken and afraid. In addition, Christian passed away at 32 weeks. As we are approaching that gestational age for Ethan, please pray that we would be surrounded by peace instead of fear and hope instead of anxiousness. We miss Christian so much every day and wish he could be here to celebrate his brother with us. That feeling has lingered over every milestone: the nursery, showers, etc would have all been for him first if all had been ok. That thought makes every joyful day slightly overshadowed by the questions for which we still do not have answers. Even so, we are beyond thankful for this opportunity for new life and hope. Thank you for upholding us in your thoughts and prayers. We know our journey is far from over!

At our Philadelphia shower, our former pastor's wife shared some things about the name Ethan that stunned me and Matt. We had chosen this name based on liking the sound of it as well as the meaning: strong, constant. We had no idea that the name appeared in the Bible, let alone the context. As it turns out, Psalm 89 was written by an Ethan and begins: "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever, with my mouth will I make your faithfulness known to all generations." Talk about chills!! The entire Psalm is speaking about the Lord's mercy and faithfulness. At a time where we still struggle to trust, we felt like this was an incredible gift and confirmation of God's love and plan for us. Some sources say that Ethan's name also means "faithful". Funny how I just assumed that was talking about one of his qualities, now when we say his name it will remind us of how faithful God has been to us.

Another account of an Ethan occurs in I Chronicles when the Israelites are bringing the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. The procession was led by musicians and among them, an Ethan! Guess what he played?

The clanging cymbals. A percussionist?! Figures. =) Ah well, if he loves music and rejoices in the Lord then we can't ask for much more than that, even if it does get really loud around here!

If there is anything new to report, I will be sure to update you all, but there is a good chance that the next entry will be to tell you of Ethan's arrival! I can't believe we're so close!!!!! Please continue your prayers for him and his strength and health. We can't wait to introduce him to you all.

Much love,
Amy & Matt