OCTOBER 22, 2008

Thank you for the many prayers that surrounded us yesterday on our trip to Cleveland. It was a very long day, but we were blessed to have the opportunity to be evaluated by some of the top doctors in the field of fetal medicine. They took their time with us and truly made it worth the trip.

Our way out there was marked by touch-and-go rain, but for the whole first half hour, there was a rainbow in front of us....just a little reminder of God's faithfulness. The ultrasound itself took almost two hours as three different doctors came to take a look. We will be posting these new shots very soon...some are in 3-D which gave us the chance to see Christian's face as well as his perfect fingers and toes in amazing detail. He was very active for the whole time and we watched him kicking and tumbling.

As expected, the prognosis was much the same; in fact, it was a bit worse than we had heard before. Christian's heart defect is more complex than they originally indicated, making the possibility for successful surgery even more remote. The encephalocele (brain issue) is higher on the head, which means that a small portion of the perinial lobe is being pulled back outside of the gap in the skull. This part of the brain is very important for processing and there would be significant collateral neurological damage if Christian survived surgery at all. He is continuing to grow and doesn't seem to be bothered by these issues, nor are they creating problems for me.

The few positives of the consultation: learning that I am not in as much danger carrying him to term as Magee implied. They also said there is a significant possibility that Christian would live in utero to term and we would be able to deliver and have some time with him.

I will continue to be monitered over the months (about every 4 weeks or so) and next month we meet with the natologists at Magee to devise a plan for delivery day. It is so hard because every time we meet with them, they put us back to square one and although our faith in the Lord's healing power is not diminished, it's hard not to feel the pain and grief all over again, especially as we've been able to see Christian more and more. I'm considering not going back for any more consultations after November, but I can't decide. If I am not in as much danger as they thought, I may just ride this out or check in with them if I suspect any issues. At this point, I would really rather leave it in the Lord's hands and rest in the faith and support we have found in our family and friends.

God has been so faithful to us everyday. It seems like we are always given little gifts or reminders of his power, love, and mercy and it has been very sustaining. For those of you praying, please know that your prayers are not going unheard and God is indeed blessing us with strength and peace. We already love Christian so much and we believe that his purpose is not over. He is here, living and active, in all of these moments reminding us how precious he is and what a miracle his life has been already.

Please keep your prayers coming. It seems like such a long journey some days, but I know that very soon we'll have the chance to see what God has in store for Christian and for us.